keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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