Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
even my farts smell like vagina
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
