I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
