Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
