They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
