if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
