We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
