It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
