Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
