nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
