you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
