ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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