Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
