But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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