we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
