I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I will be naked everywhere
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
