He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize