i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
