So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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