I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
this boner is exhausting
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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