Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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