never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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