We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize