do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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