we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
