We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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