Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
