Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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