You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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