come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
