marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
