Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
