just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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