I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
