yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
