Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
