I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
