found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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