dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
