peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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