Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
