Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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