didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
