You smell like stripper and shame
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
