yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
