I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
