i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
