I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
this just has baby written all over it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
