why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
