Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
