you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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