Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
