hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
