Sry I called you an 8
If that was your dad, he is hot
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
