the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize