if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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