I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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