i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Who put my cat in the fridge?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
