Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
