Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
