You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
