Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Houston, we have a squirter
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
