so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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