I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
