we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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